I have seen a few blog posts recently where people are talking about their personal style and it brought something home to me that I have been aware of for a while, and something I have had many internal struggles with over the years and that’s that I actually have no idea what my ‘style’ is.
When I was in highschool there was this one girl who was a few years above me, and I vividly remember being jealous of how confident she was with her fashion. She knew who she was and she totally owned it. I remember hoping one day I would follow a similar suit, that I would grow into my style and that would be it. However, now in my mid 20s (26 is still mid 20’s right?!) I think I would still struggle to tell you what my personal style actually is. It changes from day-to-day depending on my mood, the time of year and a million other things.
Most days when searching for something to wear, I have fleeting moments of finding myself disliking the majority of my clothes and I momentarily want to throw everything out and start again. This quote from (my Queen) Caitlin Moran taken from this article pretty much sums it up –
“You know when we stand in front of a full wardrobe and say, “I don’t have anything to wear!”? Obviously we have things to wear. You can see all the shit from where you are standing, fully dressed, ready to leave the house. What we mean is, “I don’t have anything to wear for who I need to be today.”
My problem is I always want what I wear to show me in my best light. I have always wanted my clothes to represent ‘me’ but on days when I’m not even sure who ‘me’ is it can get beyond frustrating. Some days I feel like I have 3 different people inside me, each with their own sense of style and I struggle to know which direction to go in. Hence most of the time I end up with a bit of this and a bit of that and hope somehow I can construct a semi-wearable outfit. I cross my fingers and hope for the best.
The ironic thing is you would think with the amount of clothes us gals accumulate through our adult lives we would be content with our wardrobes enough to just throw anything on in the morning and be happy, but that just isn’t the case. My problem is I have such a wide variety of styles of clothing, but not enough of one style to say that’s ‘my thing’. So if anything, it’s even harder to choose. I have floral dresses to band T-shirts to vintage pieces and everything in-between, all of which I adore. The thing is one day when I am shopping I could be feeling like a completely different person to who I feel like the next week, resulting in the mismatched collection of clothes I have today.
It’s so easy when scrolling through Instagram or Pinterest to feel pressured to buy into a certain trend or colour scheme because you see everyone else is, but I have learnt over the years that if I know full well I won’t wear something, it really isn’t worth it. Even if it is only a few quid from Primark. Buying into trends for the sake of it is something that I have always been fairly good at not doing, even back in my teens I was pretty stubborn when it came to not getting into the ‘latest thing’ whatever that may have been, and not much as changed now I am in my 20s. This isn’t to say I deliberately avoid what’s currently ‘in vogue’ (lol), as there are the odd trends here and there that I admittedly do like, but equally I think it’s important not to part with your money to buy into a trend just because it’s the latest thing.
I think this is why I love second-hand shopping so much, you’re not the one looking the for the clothes, the clothes find you. I have bought things second-hand from vintage fairs, car boot sales and charity shops that I doubt I would have looked at twice in high street shops, but they end up being my most worn items. Coincidentally, sometimes they also just happen to be something that’s kind of current. This teddy coat is a fine example. Yes, teddy coats have been a bit of ‘a thing’ this winter, but I picked this one up in a charity shop just before Christmas and due to the classic brown tone I know it will continue to be a favourite for winters to come.
For the people who know what their personal style is, I salute you. Some days I wish I knew what mine was too. But sometimes I think being a bit fashion confused can be a good thing – It tempts you to try different things and that’s the great thing about fashion, you can be a different person one week to the next through the clothes you decide to wear and hey – that’s totally ok! I think sometimes as fashion bloggers it can be easy to think we need to stick to a certain trend, style or theme when in reality we don’t need to at all. Style doesn’t need to be concrete, nothing we’re into now is set in stone.
A part of me hopes that girl I looked up to in school all of those years ago also had days where she didn’t have a clue either, it’s just she had the knack of looking like she knew what she was doing, something I don’t seem to have quite learnt. Clothes are there to experiment with, the same as you can try on a different shade of lipstick or wear your hair a different way, these things are there to be given a go and not taken terribly seriously. Somethings will stick and some things won’t, but at the end of the day it’s only fashion, or it’s only a lipstick – what’s the worst that can happen?
Until next time
Photography Katie Jade Photography